the lights were too bright
Going into college I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was never anxious about this, mainly due to the safety net of only being 18 which was also backed by the idea of “having time”. Fast forward 4 years and your boy still has no idea what he wants to do. I’ve just started my senior year of college. No internship. No sort of “business” experience with jobs. No super rich friends with parents willing to take me under their wing. I applied to over 30 internships last summer and nada. I know that it’s probably my lack of experience that isn’t landing me much, but I thought these internships were supposed to be the experience lol. Just kinda banking on this college degree at this point. I don’t say this in search of pettiness, almost the opposite. If it wasn’t for being rejected by all of these different companies I most likely wouldn’t have had the same amount of time to invest into my music. And I can proudly say that’s where my heart is now. The case I state today is music is what I truly want to pursue. What I wouldn’t mind going hungry or broke for. I easily spend more than half of my day working and experimenting and creating music. I obsess and am devoured by the idea of sharing my art with others. What I will admit is that I do get scared at times, of falling behind in the “real world” because what if it doesn’t pay off? What if I never reach a larger audience? What if instead of spending so much time working on something that isn’t guaranteed, I spent it studying or working my way towards a professional career? Well, nothing is guaranteed. The degree, maybe you, and I seek, may not even amount to much in terms of our careers 20 years from now. You’re not even 100% sure if you’re going to pass that barrier of an exam that will lead to your dream job. But the same human characteristic we share is that we love what we do. Realistically speaking, doctors who truly care do not go through ample amounts of school just because their mom told them to. I love this so called “hobby” of mine and I’m willing to embrace the burden of backing away from societal norms. The typical cubical 9-5 does not excite me unfortunately. I am an artist at heart. I am willing to fail over and over again if it means my desired light at the end of the tunnel is exactly as bright as I expected it to be. Are you?
